Saturday, September 17, 2011

I found my inspiration again

So I have been gone for a while. And getting back into blogging has been something I haven't been looking forward too. And let me explain why! I love this blogging showing you pictures, telling you a little story from the day and most of all the response. But I have a skinny family that sees my plus size - my fat! as a negative thing. After the last blog post I had a big fight with my mother. She keeps buying me clothes that are 2 sizes too big because she think my clothes fit too tight and I shouldn't show my fat. It's shameful and should be hidden. And than I get mad and defend myself. So typically she wants to make thing right, and she does so by suggesting that we get me started loosing weight by entering a gym together. Or the newer trend - a operation to shrink my stomach. And that's what made me hit rock bottom. I just started too cry my eyes out and stood up and left the room. My poor boyfriend had to get in between me and my mother. I forgive her. I just keep thinking, she doesn't know any better. She's ignorant. But I know she's not. When she was 20'ish she too was big and she didn't loose the weight because she said to herself "now I am going too lose it," she lost the weight from stress. She was a single mom with 3 kids and a full time job.  

I am really proud of my mother but still major pissed off sometimes. I hate that she sees my bigness as a problem and needs to change me physically. I know I am big, I know I need too loose weight. I also know I have a lot of emotional problems I need to work throw and I know I am a comfort eater. I feed my emotions food. I thank God that I have a great boyfriend that loves me no matter what. I was a size EU size 40 when we meet and after a lot of family problems, hanging around bad people, depression and doing a job with a evil boss for too long I am now a EU size 50. 

But I am getting better, I have a job a love. I work with great people. I have great friends. I have hobbies that make me go out and enjoy life. I no longer stay in all day feeling sorry for myself. I am ready to move on and you know what I've gotten to know so far? I like and love me now. And I don't mind the weight. I want to live healthier in the future but that doesn't guaranty that I will be a skinny person.

Anyways - on to the "OOTD - Outfit Of The Day"

Peach color Jacket - ASOS size UK 22
T-Shirt Leopard print - Evans size UK 22/24
Blue jeans - Evans size UK 22
Sneakers - Graceland size UK 7
Ring - my favorite as always 
Silver watch - Pieces/Vera Moda
Gold Swallow Necklace - Vera Moda

I wore some blush from Sleek named "golden rose"
Black mascara from The Body Shop
And the red nail polish is from Kleancolor and
named "red alert no. 81"

I wore this outfit to go shopping with my boyfriend. We went looking for a new couch but didn't find one we liked. So I dragged my boyfriend to go shopping for new nail polish. My new obsession is Kleancolor nail polish. I love that it's cheap but good quality, the brush applicator is amazing! And the color variation is to die for. I also had a gift certificate too a jewelry store so I went in to buy a watch :) I feel in love with the lime green one, the brand is "Mango". I already have the watch in purple and white. They are so cute that I want one in every color!

Sorry for the extreme long blog post today. I had a lot to get of my shoulders and I promise I will be a better blogger from now on. I am going to a birthday party tonight and I will have another outfit post ready for you tomorrow. Have a great weekend everyone!

Love Karina.

I am also going to get a tattoo next week. So check back for the pictures from my first tattoo!
I am so existed!

No comments:

Post a Comment